


golden slumbers

by nascar (orphan_account)



Series: suckerpunched [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 80's AU, Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Making Out, Suicide, Tragic Romance, mark is an angel and they kiss a lot thats it kids, this sounds so sad it really isnt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 18:18:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/nascar
Summary: donghyuck was a secret. as painful as it was, mark cherished it. donghyuck was the kind of secret best kept close to the heart, the kind you don’t share in hopes of keeping it sewed into your lungs and under your tongue so as to not have it taken away.





	golden slumbers

**Author's Note:**

> hey cowboys i did it again, ig u dont have to read the prev. fic to understand this if ur rlly good at inferring but like please do so itll make more sense

_Golden slumbers,_

_Fill your eyes_

_Smiles await you when you rise_

_Sleep pretty darling_

_Do not cry_

_And I will sing a lullaby._

__-  (golden slumbers, the beatles)_ _

 

  


donghyuck's voice may have sounded sounded like it was made to fill the house of god but he kissed like his lips had invented sin.

 

there was something so precious in his fervent touches and soft noises. it was as addictive as it was rewarding.

 

there was something in his kisses that was made of dreams.

 

and oh to dream.

 

"you're a poet mark lee," donghyuck had whispered to him one night between opened mouth kisses.

 

"but i haven't said a word," mark half laughed back, breath damp against donghyuck's lips.

 

the younger boy tugged at the hair of mark's nape, at that mark gasped and donghyuck pressed in impossibly closer.

 

"you don't have to," is what donghyuck said when he managed to pull away enough to speak, and then pressed another heart meltingly hot kiss to mark's mouth.

 

mark’s heart fluttered tremulous in his chest, a gentle aching thing.

  


summer brought freedom and the air of scorching feverence. mark spent most of his time on the basketball courts, focusing on the familiar dry slap of the rubber against asphalt.

 

in the distance donghyuck could be found stretched out over the bleachers, lithe and pliant in the sun.

 

in one hand dangled  a book of poetry and the other came up to shield his eyes from the light, pushing up against his sweaty bangs.

 

it often took mark the better part of his time spent in this place to unglue his eyes from donghyuck. mark must have not been as subtle about it as he had believed he was if the hint of a smile tugging at donghyuck’s lips was anything to go by.

 

when the heat of the day passed and the sun dipped just behind the lazy town, settling just under mark’s ribcage, mark found donghyuck most beautiful.

 

the basketball court was bathed in a golden light, an agglomeration of shadows painted the scene. donghyuck looked as if he’d been dipped in the sun itself.

 

the exaggerated lines of his face burned smudged strokes into mark’s vision. his face was washed over with a stunning cadmium orange, the soft skin of his legs burned a bronzed ocher.

 

mark’s mouth went dry at the sight, trapped in reverence.

 

donghyuck always burnt under mark’s heavy gaze, starting from the middle and catching alight until he crumbled to embers and ash.

 

the glimmering look in the younger boy’s eyes reminded mark of a lit fuse, all he had to do was reach out, and he’d get zapped.

  


mark hated keeping donghyuck a secret, there were times when he’d nearly turn breathless with the pure need to kiss him. not behind a car, or in a closet, or in an empty dorm room, but in the air, and under the sun.

 

but he couldn’t, he couldn’t trace the younger boy’s knuckles when he clenched his fists with anxiety. he couldn’t press a kiss to his forehead before sending him off to bed, couldn’t even talk to him in the open air.

 

donghyuck was a secret. as painful as it was, mark cherished it. donghyuck was the kind of secret best kept close to the heart, the kind you don’t share in hopes of keeping it sewed into your lungs and under your tongue so as to not have it taken away.

 

“mark, slow down we have a while,” donghyuck laughed playfully, his voice was a muffled sugary noise.

 

mark pulled away from where he’d been feverently pressing butterfly kisses into donghyuck’s jaw.

 

“m’sorry,” mark whispered back sheepishly.

 

he was so used to having to rush that he’d forgotten where they were.

 

their friend jaemin had invited them both over to his summer home before school started again. they’d been given separate rooms but the look in jaemin’s eyes told them he hadn’t intended for them to stay away from each other.

 

jaemin was different from the other boy’s at sm prep. he seemed to know more than he’d let on but never said anything, which mark was grateful for.

then there was the matter of his odd relationship with his two best friends renjun huang and jeno lee. the three were confusing but everyone was just used to at this point. again, nobody said anything.

 

mark pressed a kiss to hyuck’s nose, revelling in the way it scrunched up cutely.

 

mark couldn’t help but smile gently into the curve of his boyfriend’s cheek (were they boyfriends? is that what this was? it seemed an awfully un-encompassing word).

 

the moon grew bright and impossibly enormous outside the window, an alabaster god swimming in the inky indigo of the night sky, hung with shining jewels and gems twinkling in the fabric of night.

 

donghyuck’s face shimmered under the light.

 

“i love you,”mark murmured, into donghyuck’s throat, thumbing over his plush lips.

 

donghyuck loved hearing those three words, in a relationship like theirs there wasn’t much time to exchange their quiet declarations.

 

donghyuck’s breath hitched and before mark could savor the reaction, he was on his back, donghyuck’s hands pressing burning imprints into his shoulders.

 

donghyuck loomed over him, deathly beautiful in the bare lighting. one half of his face was painted in whites and blue’s from the night sky and the other half was streaked in soft saffron and burnt umber from the bedside lamp.

 

“mark,” donghyuck exhaled.

 

mark’s brain puttered around and then fizzled out, hands coming up to hold onto the other boy’s waist.

 

“yeah?” he asked back, voice trembling.

 

donghyuck licked his lips, mark following the movement with a scorching interest.

 

“nothing, just wanted to say your name.”

 

after that mark’s mind goes blank and donghyuck ducks his head to press their lips together.

  
  


mark hadn’t meant to get drunk, he’d never even planned on coming to this party. he was graduating in two weeks though and he couldn’t protest against yukhei’s adamant argument.

 

(“mark buddy, pal, how can you be such a stiff?”

 

“i’m not going to this stupid party, i have an aversion to hang overs thank you.”

 

“famous last words of a square.” yukhei sighed, “you’re never going to get laid at this rate.”

 

mark had to bite back a comment.)

 

so here he was, five shots of vodka, a head full of static, oh- and a lap full of hyuck.

 

he didn’t know how it happened, just that they were both smashed and had ended up stumbling into some closet, hands frantic and bodies flush.

 

he didn’t register much besides the taste of cherry bomb chapstick and the burn of donghyuck’s tongue.

 

somewhere along the way though there’s a flash of light and a voice that could be jeno or renjun and hands are tugging him away from the flash of lights and pulse of music. someone wears a worried expression and hyuck is no longer in sight.

 

 

 

the picture of mark kissing donghyuck was blurry but unmistakable. it was presented to mark on a sheet of black and white copy paper, taped to his door.

 

mark’s vision nearly blacked out, icy shards travelling under his skin and piercing his lungs until they filled with ice cold blood.

 

his hands trembled, heart shaking dangerously.

 

someone had seen, they’d been caught, everyone knew. they were gay and everyone knew.

 

mark didn’t think before running.

 

he banged rapidly on donghyuck’s door, chest heaving, crumpling, dissolving.

 

someone passed by, eyes digging into mark’s spine.

 

when the door opened donghyuck’s eyes were wide, confused.

 

“mark? what are you-”

 

mark pushed past him, closing the door shut with a barely audible click.

 

“someone knows.” mark choked out, eyes brimming with tears.

 

donghyuck was silent, shoulders tensing.

 

his eyes flitted to the picture crumbled in mark’s hand.

 

someone knew, someone had taken the picture. the secret was out, every clandestiene piece of hyuck mark had tucked away to cherish was revealed, gutted and shown to the world.

 

“i’m sorry hyuck, baby i’m so sorry,” mark whispered, stepping closer to the younger boy.

 

donghyuck stepped away, flinching.

 

at that one small movement mark felt everything inside him crash down, someone somewhere was screaming.

 

donghyuck seemed to notice what he did a moment too late, eyes widening.

 

of course this would happen. how could he have been so blind, how could he have done this to donghyuck, his hyuck. he should have stayed away he should have controlled himself, he should have protected him. now the whole world was about to know.

 

if mark had been outed all that would happen would be that he’d have to move, that his father might beat him.

 

if hyuck got outed? that’s another story. his mother was the country’s most influential actress, all eyes were on him.

 

“mark-” donghyuck managed to strangle out.

 

static filled mark’s head, weighing down his heart and legs.

 

“im sorry hyuck. im sorry, im sorry.” with that mark backed up to the door, needing to get away, away where he couldn’t hurt him again. donghyuck had flinched earlier, because of mark, because mark had been reckless and let the world find out about them.

 

with that, mark escaped the room, fleeing away from everything he’d created and broken back down.

  
  


the phone call comes a week after the pictures. mark had skipped classes, holing himself up inside his dorm room. he hadn’t seen donghyuck since that last morning that he’d run away. the words _donghyuck is a faggot_ are thrown up everywhere. the words are awful and stomach flipping, mark wants nothing more than to go outside and tear it all down. the tabloids must have caught on by now.

 

rumours circulate around the school that the pictures had been taken by someone at jyp. at the thought bile rose in mark’s throat. it all made sickening sense, a twisted revenge.

 

in fifth year donghyuck had been cornered by a few jyp students from the soccer team, donghyuck never spoke of it in detail but it was enough to send him crying into mark’s chest sometimes, enough to make the younger boy wary of physical affection.

 

supposedly donghyuck had paid someone to sneak into jyp soccer locker rooms and slip something into the uniforms. the soccer team had been covered in racious red welts from head to toe for weeks.

 

mark picked up the phone after three rings.

 

“hello?” he answered warily, voice etched with exhaustion.

 

“mark,” the voice was the familiar dulcet tone that mark had come to have an addiction to.

 

“hyuck?” mark sat up, taking the rotary dial with him.

 

“mark,” donghyuck spoke again, he sounded off.

 

“hyuck what’s going on are you okay?”

 

there was a sound of muffled shuffling on the other end and then, “hey i love you, mark i love you so much i’m- i’m sorry i-” donghyuck shuttered and choked, “i love you, i love you.”

 

something was definitely wrong.

 

“slow down baby, where are you?” mark swung his legs over the side of his bed.

 

“mark.” it wasn’t said like you say a name, it was whispered like a prayer.

 

mark’s heart sped up, head spinning. something was wrong.

 

“hyuck are you okay? please answer me.”

 

“i’m sorry,” hyuck’s voice sounded tired and wet.

 

the line went dead.

 

for the second time that week mark ran. he ran so fast he felt his heart beating in his throat as if he had swallowed it.

 

he didn’t bother knocking this time, going straight for the door knob. it was locked.

 

he barely registered the painful crunch of his elbow as it came down against the doorknob.

 

normally he wouldn’t dream to do something so reckless but he knew hyuck, something was wrong, horribly off kilter.

 

the door creaked open and mark broke through.

 

mark immediately felt the urge to vomit. he’s aware of someone screaming, probably himself.

 

there, tucked into the folds of a white comforter, was hyuck. his usual bronze complexion had turned ashy and surrounding him was a small mound of uncapped pill bottles, the blankets were smattered with a nauseating red.

 

mark didn’t remember running to him, only that one second he’d been standing shocked in the doorway and the next he was tripping over himself to reach hyuck.

 

red hot fear stabbed through mark’s chest, numbing his hands.

 

“hyuck?” no answer.

 

“hyuck baby, wake up,” mark was met with more silence and donghyuck didn’t move.

 

he looked so small, curled up and vulnerable.

 

something in mark’s chest broke away and tumbled forward.

 

reaching with trembling hands, mark pushed away donghyuck’s honey blond bangs, his skin forehead was  clammy.

 

somewhere he registered the crowd of people gathering at the door but he didn’t care anymore, his baby was bleeding out and nobody was doing anything.

 

“hyuck please,” he was begging now. his voice came out broken and raspy, but nothing happened, donghyuck wasn’t breathing anymore, his chest was cold and still.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> this was so lazy i didnt even finish bc i was bored im sorry i cant write sad things oops
> 
> 1 kudos = 1 yeehaw


End file.
